I put a dozen cookies in the oven just minutes before we were set to hop on a Zoom call with about fifteen of my family members our hearts speed racing lungs. Our dog on my partner’s lap we adjust the laptop several times before arriving at an angle. My device computing awfully slow I text the family group chat technical difficulties be right there! Thumbs up after thumbs up roll in.
Closing all the tabs sweat dripping down my forehead I finally log-in to my last name in the waiting room multiplied. I admit everyone in one by one warm hellos and smiles fill the space. Our corgi senses the fury of emotion wiggling and twisting about. Anticipation was the air’s name in every time zone.
I forget about the rising dough in the oven as I ask everyone to mute themselves. Many words later I turn to my partner and with giddy confidence blurt out the words “and we’re getting married.” Hands on our faces catching tears seconds after the collective unmute we became a cacophony of cheers, tears and sighs of relief that will be felt for years.
My flesh has softened since we met. My tendency to exercise control has essentially evaporated. This time love vigorously massages my dysfunction knots again and again and again as needed. The pain hurts less and my body feels bigger. I chuckle to myself at the whimsy of chosen union two transgender spirits reflecting you are too good to pass up. The sparkling wine of my heart sings oxygen bound carbon dioxide found.
Talking to a beloved on the phone last night about the engagement they noted just how ravaged their heart is over global mass death and in the same breath how desperate life is to live plants forcing their way through the cracks as if to say I will live god damnit! We burnt the cookies that night but the thing about our love is that we just make more cookies.
This brought tears to my eyes. I wish you much abundance and happiness💕 I think of the quote “together we double our joy and divide our sorrow”. Endless love.
🍾❤️🍪 biggest congratulations to the both of you