fatigue of everything being hard for no reason fades away, ٱلْحَمْدُ لِلَّٰهِ! extending a gesture through time using multiple images. last week, i published a very vulnerable post. this week, i experience the magic of having my needs met by both myself and community. longer hugs and dewy cheek kisses, energy clearings, meditations, backrubs, and tear jars. still very embarrassing to be this nude, needs met and all.
my career—the garden i tend to most—is flourishing. i often dissociate and scatter my energies across the lands because their sizes overwhelm my flesh container. leaving my body quivering—phoning my energies home is a daily ritual. wanting to love with all my might, clawing through programming of other-how to get there, i set boundaries to protect other people from my own dysfunction.
scent as information, i cast spells with my friends—calling in life pads—giving my home a chance to smell me. bark thicket a carrier—objects as an intermediary. i’m tired of seeking change to be good. i want to be so bad, i am whole—fruiting so much, i bruise. pink collar desire, i spoil. cadence so sweet, i rot. learning to think myself enough while birthing permission to play a little more rough, i calculate slowness to loosen my unnerving calcification.