thank you for paying attention—your attention is invaluable
i woke up at dawn to billows of fog and dew, as if season’s change had rushed here. relieved to not feel any pins and needles in my wings, i sheepishly smile at the thought of being alive, and partial dream sending my close friend sweet-nothing texts. the before sunrise of it all compelled me to slip on some warm layers and head directly to the truck. we puttered up the choppy gravel road toward the waterfall.
still coming back to my body from wherever i go when i slumber, i stumble through the forest, trailing behind my dog’s sharp dash. plenty of bird species singing a waking song. tucking my tailbone again and again, feeling an opening in my chest i’ve been desperate for. the kind of desperation i’d study and cozy up to.
my body is wrecked, spent catering to a survival brushing past the will to live. Calcified hips, owl howl going off through the jawline of my back, wings bent, sitting in a standard chair as i come to this page in pointed pain. every person, a feeling’s territory and every feeling, an entity—reigning supreme through me, drumming a siren-like militia, devising plans unbeknownst to my concocted self.
Keep reading with a 7-day free trial
Subscribe to Care Ecology to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives.