a coyote howls as i open up my substack dashboard to write this newsletter. worthy does not mean correct—it can mean loved even when i’m bad. is there something about staying in a single place for a long time that means knowing yourself? i need a shower i can dance in while Charlie pokes his nose under the curtain. white angular tiles reflecting back at me. feeling like my own energy is all i need is a blessing. pacing is how i stim. if i can’t pace in an environment, i can’t be there.
i am beginning to see the threads of my life slowly braid seeds—thick, coarse ASMR floating through itself. new over and over again—aging recovery. pubic hairs sparkle when touched by natural light. Golden in the wind departs the following second creating friction. The learning has much flavor these days—the rewards, insurmountably aligned.
i feel seen by the universe when i feel seen by myself. what helps you feel into the glory of your presence? i came home to myself in a really big way last speak. all i needed to hear from me was “i’ve got you.” i’ve got you as in “i’m taking care of you”, and i’ve got you as in “i have you—i get to be you!” the sequence of this ease floats my spirit through the words i type here now, the music i recorded earlier today, and the next “i’ve got you” i need. <3