When I started this newsletter, I was committed to writing every week. As other life commitments request more of me, I come here to write when I feel called.
This week’s newsletter is inspired by my dear friend Hannah’s piece Challenging Angelina: Nurturing Self-Confidence.
Thank you for sticking with me as I come and go—show up differently and put forward an honesty that might instigate disgust or even surprise.
I think it happens gradually over time like the way gravity shapes a spine mimicking influence. The contours of who and what I worship etching into me like puppet. The idea that I am better than other people quietly stitching poison pattern across my embodiment.
A former pal told me at some point in our togetherness they started to feel more like a fan than a friend. Born to an egomaniac, his word not mine, I feel the creature of my shadow loosen its cling to my core now knowing their own name.
“Thank you for seeing me,” she shouts from the inner chambers. My superiority complex Tina her name is I guess is fed up with a closeted lifestyle.
She came out to two of my friends and now my entire Substack rousing me into a 5am Notes App frenzy about her.
“I am not a shameful secret,” she sasses crossing her arms and tapping her left foot, a short stubby hot pink heel dangling from her ankle.
“That’s so funny because I literally just thought you were superior,” a friend admits through giggles over the phone.
I sigh relieved by Tina announcing herself. No bad parts and also, *supremacy* is not my testimony. Enduring the pain of its latching stings my flesh—the bullet ant of connection.
Humbled by the sheer awe of being here is my obedience.